Do you know what makes the Queen cry?

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During the first day of the Life Transition seminar, our facilitator let us watch a movie entitled “My Queen”.

It was story about the queen of England in the aftermath of Princess Diana’s death. There were 2 important personalities in the movie - the queen and Prime Minister Tony Blair. 

As a monarch, the queen was portrayed as a tough and well meaning person, a symbol of power in Great Britain.  However, the twist of the story was the death of Princess Diana.  The royal family retreated into the vacation house while thousands of Princess Diana’s supporters gathered in London to pay respect to what Tony Blair called ‘the princess of the people”. 

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It was a tough and intense moment both for Queen Elizabeth and Tony Blair.  The latter was respectfully requesting the former to come to London because the monarch is taking a beating for snubbing the big event in London where the people of Great Britain and all over the world is paying so much attention. 

Another twist of the story was when the queen drove her car in the hinterlands and got struck on the river while still in vacation.  Far away from the populace, the queen found herself alone, helpless and incompetent.  This was the moment when the real human queen was forced to face the reality of smallness, nothingness and helplessness.  This particular episode showed the queen crying.  Her being human was beginning to show its proof.  It was a very touching scene in the movie

 After that scene, the rest of the movie was so moving to see the human side of the queen which eventually played and influenced her decision, especially coming to her senses with the pleading of Tony Blair to finally come to London.

Many times in my life I was frozen because of my position, my ego and status.  For example, there’s was so much pressure to behave well as a religious brother.  People might easily talk about me if I do something unacceptable.   

On the other hand, as a teacher, it is important for me to be real.  Students could easily detect if I am telling the truth or not.  I have the freedom to be upset or angry as long there are good reasons for doing so.  If not, then there’s something wrong.

Well, talking of being upset or angry, I remember Norma, a teacher in a Catholic elementary school,  whom I met in one of the teachers’ convention.   She said she was branded as a very strict teacher.  Students in her class behave so much because of fear.  At first, she really liked the idea since during classroom visitations by her principal or coordinators she always got high rating for classroom management, consistently.  However, she felt so embarrassed one celebration of teachers’ day.  While her co-teachers received bundles of gifts and flowers from the students, she got very little.  They all came from the officers of the student body- maybe because she had no advisory class. It was a horrible experience for her, though she appeared not affected. She came to her senses. She seemed to be less human in dealing with her students.

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Lesson?  Be human. 

As our facilitator had emphasized, talk to your students first as human beings.  It’s the same for parents, administrators, bosses, or anybody.  In dealing with subordinates or colleagues or children while resolving problems and crisis, you deal with them as a human beings talking to another human being.  Be real. Be you.

What does this mean?  Human by nature is loving, caring, understanding and compassionate.  When a student commits a mistake or misbehaves in class, find a way to talk to the student and consider him/her first as a human being, not a less human being.  Our facilitator mentioned that many times we forget this reality.  As a human being talking to an erring student, you cannot just immediately judge him/her.  Remove your authority and start listening and listening and listening.  By just simply doing it, you are acting as a real human being. 

Quarrels and even wars could have been prevented if only two people talk like human beings, not as people with position and without feelings.  Real human beings are equals.  They are created in the image and likeness of God.  No one is above the other.  They are equal. 

Positions and titles are secondary.  Again, it is emphasized that being human is rooted in the identity of being good.  As creatures of God, people are good.  That’s why God in Genesis, after creating every creature including human beings always made a comment, saying "It was good.”

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According to our facilitator, it doesn’t mean being human you will not get angry or get frustrated or discouraged.  That’s part of being human.  What she really emphasized was how to deal with people.  The movie portrayed the difficulty of the queen in maintaining protocols which sometimes became a hindrance for her to real . Dealing with people in a way that humans do will make people believe and feel valued.

I remember one time when I was so upset because my students could not present their requirements as agreed a month before.  Schedules were important to me because I have already planned everything, and time was of the essence.  I almost cancelled our major activity.  Later on I realized that it was indeed impossible for students to finish and submit my assignments because they just attended a convention and had to submit requirements to other teachers.  If only I listened to them first, I would be enlightened that my scheduling was not realistic.  I would also understand the situation and feelings of my students.  Again, be human.

This is also a struggle especially for administrators and those in positions.

Just like the queen, being human can only be learned when you yourself experience the limits of your nature as a human being.  It takes the toll of human nature to realize the beauty of being human.

Just like the queen, we can make good decisions if we are true to our human nature.

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Just like the queen, we can understand others better if we are connected to our own selves as human beings.

Just like the queen, we become honest to ourselves, including our feelings.

Just like the queen, we receive love and admiration if we remain human.

May your dreams be blessed.

Randy T.